What does being a success mean to you?

I am going to make an assumption and guess it means something like, getting the best job in your field, having the house, the family, having the best things, getting the best results, or even making a bucket load of money. 

I get it, it's how I was conditioned too. From a young age I can remember the praise I would receive for winning an award and how proud that would make my parents. At some point, I made the connection, that in order to receive love, I must achieve a high standard result. I was too young to consciously make the link but that's what was going on in my little brain. 

It's no wonder, as I got older in my late teens and early twenties, I found myself striving and pushing myself past my limits in the hope of receiving love and validation. Constantly trying to prove my worth. It ate away at my self-esteem and burnt me out big time. 

When I reflect back over that time in my life, I was so stressed and scared, and all I wanted was to be loved. I thought that achieving what everyone else told me success should be, would make them love me and I would finally be happy.

I used to think success was based on the things I had in my home, the car I drove, getting married and fitting in the box.

Now that has changed.

Success is less materialistic and more about things that are valuable to me.

Maybe that's the reason I was never successful before, I was trying to fit someone else's idea of what that looked like?

These days, I use language that might be considered a little more 'woo woo' and refer to success as alignment.

Rethinking in this way allowed me to redefine what that means for me. So, now I feel successful when I balance rest with action, when I see my kid running around and being her wild and amazing self, when I make a decision based that feels right for me, when I set a boundary, when I connect to nature, when I get enough sleep at night, when I meal prep nutritious food so I don't eat crap, when I am kind, empathetic, and compassionate towards others yes but more importantly to myself. There are so many reasons why I am a success and it has nothing to do with the narrative I was sold as a kid.

Success is also growth and expansion, for me it feels like freedom. This might be different for you, but that's the point. It's supposed to be up to you. If you rethink what success is and you still come up with some materialistic things, that's your life and I'm not here to shame our differences.

Ultimately, above it all success is loving myself and accepting myself as the imperfectly perfect being that I am. Defining my own self-worth and showing my daughter how to do the same.

Plant a seed today, and watch your success grow.

These journal prompts can help you to dive in deeper, alternatively, you can email me at [email protected] to book a discovery call with me to chat.

Why aren't you a successful?

What are areas in your life are you more successful in than you think?

If you were already successful, how would your life look?

Love, Courtney.